A naive perspective of love suggests that the partner completes them, possesses a flawless understanding of their emotions, and serves as a constant source of uplift when life deals its blows. Doesn’t that sound like the plot of a romcom or a screenplay? The greatest misconception lies in believing that another person is the key to one’s happiness. Consider the idea that they are not, for true happiness is an inside job.
As we close the month of love, we compiled a thread by Dr Nicole La Pera. Who dives deeper into various ways a romantic partner can support you as you work on your happiness. Enjoy.
Happiness is our responsibility. We need to understand ourselves, build healthy habits, and work through our traumas to feel happy and fulfilled. That’s no one else’s role. Partnership is a collaboration. Meaning you’re both working on yourselves and also supporting each other. You’re on the same team, with the same goals, and know at the end of the day you can depend on each other.
Here’s what your partner can do:
1. Help you feel safe: they can regulate their emotions and allow you to share what you feel even when it’s tough. You might not always feel “good” (difficult things will come up) but you’ll feel like you can trust them.
2. Repair: we will always hurt people when we’re in relationships. That’s a part of life. Repair is acknowledging what happened, apologizing, and promising to do better in the future. Repair builds connection after hurt.
3. Support better choices: if you want to eat healthier, walk more, or have more boundaries, your partner can join or encourage you. This might mean their own life or habits change, and they’re ok with that to help you become the best version of yourself.
4. Give you grace: we all have bad days. We all act in ways we regret. Your partner can see the best in you, and give you grace on days when you’re not your best self.
5. Know when you need space: space or time alone to recharge is something we all need. Your partner can respect this, and encourage it when you need it. Knowing you’ll reconnect after, rather than feeling rejected or abandoned.
6. Know which battles to pick: compromise is a constant in all healthy relationships. Your partner knows when something is extremely important to you, and respects it. They also know when to assert themselves and voice what matters for them.
Which tip resonated with you? Share with us in the comments.
Growth Catalysts 