Are you also tired of hearing the usual, “a man should lead a woman” or “weak men should be led” and other stereotypical nonsense? I am definitely tired. These statements always make different groups of people seem like they are not capable of owning their lives, career and lifestyle choices. It also make them feel and seem powerless. This is why we will be learning how to lead ourselves today.
What exactly does it mean to “lead yourself”?
It is where you are able to manage your emotions, make decisions that positively impact your life. It begins by you being able to attend to both your internal and external needs.
Leading yourself well means that you hold yourself to a higher standard of accountability than others do.Dr. John C. Maxwell
What is personal growth?
This is a process through which we improve our skills, character and mindset to achieve a certain goal. The most common kind of growth is professional growth. It leads to job promotions, securing better jobs easily and getting generous benefits. However, all round personal growth aids in building fulfilling lives, achieving big feats and being your best self.
Spoiler alert! Personal growth is a life long journey. So pace yourself. There is no rush.
What do you think sets us apart from other people? Being yourself. I know this begets more questions about how we can know who we are. The short answer is self awareness. However, I would like to refer you to that little spoiler alert.
In a deeper sense personal growth is concerned about building healthy habits that will help you become your best self. No wonder there is extensive content about routines that different people use to build their lives. I mean, waking up and going with the flow is only good for a while. Our minds eventually start craving a somewhat structured and general growth.
In psychology we also focus on agency as part of growth. Good therapy defines it as the ability to act autonomously and freely. It is always in your best interest to rediscover or find your own agency as it already exists inside you. In the end you will have established you personal agency which is powerful because you will finally feel in control of your life.
Being an agent in your life is empowering. Through it you are able to find emotional and physical balance, recognize your needs and advocate for yourself. You are also able to think more clearly and shut out the noise in the world.
Which brings us to the three questions in the published tweet.
- What triggers your feelings and thoughts? These are the events, memories or experiences that set you off. They also disrupt your life balance.
- Why do those specific things trigger you? This focuses on the impact that these triggers have on you. For instance, getting fired from a job you loved could be the triggering event. Then getting rejection from jobs you apply for make you feel like a failure.
- How would your feelings, reactions or thoughts be different, if you weren’t triggered? This is about finding a way to process number two. Feeling like a failure is not factual. So how will you build up your confidence?
Following the example above, when you find a solution to building your self confidence, you will have grown by a margin. When you implement your solution, you grow some more. That is the essence of leading yourself. You do not have to wait for someone else to know your needs, or ‘fix’ your problems. The more you solve your personal problems, the more you feel that you are in charge of your life.
Take this as a call to work on your personal growth. Now is definitely a good time to start!